At AmazeWorks, our mission is to champion equity and belonging for all. However, in a time when our country is deeply divided, it’s really hard to create spaces of belonging.
With the upcoming election, we are experiencing a barrage of dehumanizing, disparaging rhetoric. We can lose sight that our candidates are actual people, that the issues at stake (immigration, abortion rights, the economy, the war in Gaza or Ukraine, etc.) affect actual lives and livelihoods. And no matter who wins the presidential election, nearly half the nation will be unhappy, upset, or even distraught.
And yet, most of us will still go to school, work, or community and family gatherings following Election Day, and we will have to coexist. We must treat each other with dignity and respect, despite our differences. We must center each other’s humanity to create belonging for all.
How can we support our children as caregivers and educators? How can we engage in civil discourse as a path towards deeper empathy, understanding, and relationship? How can we find common ground through our shared values, even if we have different beliefs, and treat each other with kindness, compassion, and respect?
We created this resource to support navigating our politically charged world and post-election lives. Regardless of the election results, we will continue the work to create thriving schools, communities, and workplaces of belonging.
Eight Questions That Can Help You Survive Election Stress
What’s happening in my body and mind today?
If I’m feeling distressed, what can I do to soothe myself?
Am I getting enough good news?
When do I feel good about the election?
What am I grateful for today?
How can I connect with other people?
In light of this election, what are some new ways I can use my special skills or talents to make a difference in the broader world?
What future would I like to see—and what steps am I taking today to make that future happen?
Tips for Managing Post-Election Discussions and Conflict
Before you engage:
Breathe.
Center what you can control, and accept that you can’t control the outcome of the discussion or conflict. You can control:
The goal(s) you are working toward. It’s important to be honest with ourselves about our goals for the conversation. Are you working toward:
Empathy for someone else’s experience?
To hear multiple perspectives to gain a deeper, more nuanced understanding of a particular issue?
A stronger relationship with the person?
To be heard and acknowledged?
To be right?
HOW you engage
And sometimes, WHEN you engage. Here are some questions to help you discern if you should engage and when:
Am I losing sleep over this issue/conflict?
Do I feel happy when the other person or the other side suffers in some way, even if it doesn’t benefit me?
Do I find that when I discuss this conflict [even] with people who agree with me, I leave that conversation more frustrated, like nobody’s illuminating or enlightening each other at this point?
When You Engage:
Breathe.
Remember that it’s just as important to listen and let someone else feel heard as it is to be heard. Research shows that people are more open to nuanced, complex ideas and multiple perspectives when they feel heard.
Allow for a full range of emotions from you and the other party. Good conflict allows for a “galaxy of emotions”. High conflict only engages anger and frustration. Validate the other person’s feelings to build trust and mutual understanding.
Let go of winning. A zero-sum mindset inhibits learning and growth and can damage relationships. You can never control the outcome of a hard conversation or conflict because you can’t control other people’s emotions, reactions, or behaviors.
Share your story and invite others to do the same. Facts do little to change people’s beliefs but stories about personal experiences build empathy and understanding. It’s easier to find shared values and common ground through the sharing of stories.
Build goodwill through the 3:1 Ratio strategy. “Goodwill is the gateway for listening.” People need three moments of positive feelings for every moment of negativity.
Try “looping for understanding”. Distill the essence of what the other person is saying and paraphrase it back to them. This helps the other person feel heard and doesn’t force you to agree with them. It also engages you in a better understanding of their viewpoint or opinion.
Clarifying questions: Is this what you said…? Did I hear you say…? Did I understand you when you said…? Did I paraphrase what you said correctly?
Probing questions: Why do you think this is the case? What do you think would happen if…? What sort of impact do you think…? How did you conclude…? What is the connection between… and…? What if the opposite were true? Then what?
FOR TEACHERS: Managing Post-Election/Politicized Conversations in the Classroom
Know thyself. Monitor and manage your own emotions and reactions to the election. What coping strategies do you need to engage to build your capacity to facilitate conversations with students?
Know your students. Recognize that students from historically marginalized communities may be exhausted from the polarizing rhetoric of the past election season and may not have the bandwidth to engage thoughtfully in post-election discussions, whether they be intentionally constructed by you as the teacher or organically springing up in class or the hallway.
Interrupt any dehumanizing, degrading, or disparaging comments about people who voted for the “other side”. Some students may want to celebrate the election of “their” candidate in ways that are upsetting or degrading to the “other side”. Set boundaries with students on acceptable language to talk about the election and the different perspectives on the issues and candidates. Provide students with prompts to help them engage in civil discourse instead of polarizing rhetoric. (Tips for Promoting Civil Discourse)
Center student belonging and recognize that students may be wary of how they are being perceived or judged based on what they’ve shared in class about their ideas or perspectives on issues and candidates, or on how their parents/caregivers may have voted.
Correct misinformation without shaming a student for having misinformation.
Allow students to ask questions. Remember that you don’t have to know all the answers.
Learn together. Find resources together to answer their questions.
Use specific, individualizing language, not generalizations to avoid stereotyping a particular group of people.
Check your body language and tone.
Encourage critical thinking about news and media.
Who created this message?
Are they using facts, fear, or stereotypes?
Whose voices are not being represented?
What other media can I look to for multiple perspectives?
